Issue 11: I can't just pray my disorder away.
When you're living with a mental illness, what role does faith play?
Growing up in a practicing Muslim family in the United Kingdom, Noha Magd wasn’t entirely surprised when her parents encouraged her to turn to prayer after she revealed she was experiencing suicidal thoughts. A devout Muslim herself, Noha hoped faith could keep the fog at bay, too.
And religion did keep her going for a while, that is, until Noha noticed her health wasn’t actually improving. Thoughts of suicide continued to linger with no signs of dimming. And her devotion left her replete with a new kind of self-reproach.
“Islam regards suicide as a major sin, and I didn’t want to be sinful,” she wrote in a HuffPost essay earlier this month before we connected online. In an audio file sent via email, Noha spoke of the all-consuming guilt and the contradictions of being a suicidal person and a person of faith.
“I felt very…ungrateful,” she said. “But it’s not that I wanted to just die. I wanted the pain, the anxiety and the mental illness to stop.”
Putri Surya’s parents, like Noha’s, also suggested that she lean on her faith to get through the not-yet-diagnosed anxiety and depression.
“I would read the Quran and pray as they suggested, but it just made me more angry at God because I felt like I wasn’t making any progress,” she wrote in a blog post for ADAA.org. Putri felt pressured “to get better in order for my parents to be fulfilled in their faith. It was like I was a prisoner in my own thoughts and I wasn’t allowed to feel how I needed to feel.”
Psychiatrist and Michigan State University professor Farha Abbasi understands this sentiment all too well. In Muslim and other faith communities, it’s common for members to view mental illness as a sign of weakness “in their faith in God, in their character, or in their mind,” she told Psychology Today. “People will say, ‘You’re not praying enough. Be thankful.’”
But Noha’s prayers and self-help techniques eventually reached their limit, she said. A friend urged her to see a psychiatrist.
Her named illness—first diagnosed as anxiety and depression, but later as bipolar disorder—initially created a “toxic and invalidating” divide between her and her Egyptian parents, both of whom couldn’t understand how their PhD-holding daughter was supposedly depressed or living with a chronic illness despite being so “functional.”
But in recent years, as Noha continued to open up about her illness and encourage understanding, she’s noticed a shift. Her family has grown to become much more supportive.
I asked Noha what she wishes she could say to her parents and others instinctually compelled to suggest a renewed or amplified devotion to faith when their kids come to them for help.
“Believe the children,” she said, urging parents and guardians to take their sentiments seriously, make the effort to get educated and immediately seek professional help. Remember, she added, that your children are in a fragile state, and whatever you say can have a tremendous effect on them.
If you’re struggling with your own mental health but don’t feel like your family’s responding very well to your disclosure, Noha suggests bringing in a third party to speak with them.
How faith communities can play a role
Research shows that religion or spirituality can offer a sense of structure, a sense of belonging, a connection to something larger than ourselves—and all of these factors may have a significantly positive impact on our mental health.
For those with an emotional, centric connection to faith, know that your devotion can be useful in “coping, resilience, and finding the strength to move forward. But it’s not necessarily preventive,” psychiatrist Rania Awaad, who founded the Stanford Muslims and Mental Health Lab, said in an interview with Psychology Today.
Awaad helps train imams and other faith leaders in the Bay Area to become mental health advocates themselves. One totally disengaged imam turned advocate once said to her, “I now realize how much I didn’t know. There were all kinds of cases that probably came to me, and I didn’t realize they were about mental health, and I should’ve referred them to mental health professionals.”
She hopes her sessions with Muslim congregations can be replicated across religious groups. After all, “the scripture may be different, but the essence of the struggle is the same,” she said.
Immigrants and Religion
According to the Pew Research Center, 56% of immigrants report a belief in God (87% of Historically Black Protestant immigrants and 86% of Muslim immigrants!) and 58% say religion is very important in their lives.
Physical religious spaces are also especially powerful safe spaces for immigrant communities. Houses of worship not only foster one’s spiritual and prosaic needs, but they can also serve as a resource when immigrants need help adjusting to life in a new country or culture.
“The church—through both pastors and laypeople—teaches worshippers everything from how to apply for a social security card to how insurance works in America,” CUNY and Queens College professor Pyong Gap Min, who has studied how Korean churches and Hindu temples aid congregants with assimilation, told CityLab in 2017. “Through casual conversations, new immigrants can easily become part of a larger network that disseminates information about employment and housing opportunities.” These houses of worship may also act as “unofficial work referral systems, where worshippers can hear about jobs or scope out who they might hire themselves.”
When immigrants are internally struggling, it’s hardly surprising that they tend to consult family members and religious leaders for help and are less likely than the native population to seek medical assistance for things like anxiety, depression, chronic illness etc. This rings especially true for Latino, South Asian and African immigrants, the latter of which often lean heavily on spiritual leaders.
But the thing is, if you’re living with a mental illness and your faith community doesn’t accept your disorder as a real medical condition, you may feel further isolated. Your symptoms are likely to worsen over time, especially if you’re not receiving professional help.
For ChristianityToday.com, Amy Simpson, whose father was a pastor for 10 years, wrote about the family secret that went unacknowledged in her church growing up: her mother’s diagnosed schizophrenia.
“Many people didn't know what was happening, and the church leaders who probably wanted to help us didn't know how,” she wrote. “No one ever talked about mental illness at church,” and the church’s lack of engagement, she later learned, was hurting countless families struggling in silence.
Much of that has to do with the fact that faith communities (and, frankly, the world) tend to respond differently to mental illness compared to other afflictions, Simpson wrote.
We don’t tell people in anaphylactic shock to let go of their Epipens and to let God take over. We don’t encourage our aging grandparents with heart problems to replace the potentially life-saving pills with a few extra hours of du’a or an additional evening of Bible study. Living with a mental disorder or a chronic illness is just as valid, just as deserving of medical care.
Special thanks to Dr. Noha (@Get2Noha on Twitter) for opening her heart and sharing her story. And psst… If you would like to see the latest updates from Foreign Bodies in your primary inbox, please drag this email from the “Updates” or “Promotions” tab, to the “Primary” tab.
Looking for a faith-based therapist in America? Psychology Today’s Find A Therapist search tool offers options to filter for therapists versed in the following religions: Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Mormonism and “Other Spiritual or Religious Affiliations.” I did a search for “Islam” in Atlanta and got six professionals. Not a lot, but…
Other culture- or faith-specific resources
The Altruist: This India-based organization from mental health advocate Milesh Hamlai pioneered the country’s Dava and Dua (Medicine and Prayer) model, one that brings mental hospitals, faith healers and families of mentally ill patients together. Read about its success here.
Asian American Christian Counseling Service: A California-serving nonprofit that believes “faith experiences are diverse and the expression of faith is complex. For this reason, Scripture and prayer are offered only with informed consent.”
Christian support groups across the country, courtesy of NAMI.
Institute for Muslim Mental Health: Committed to optimizing the Muslim community’s emotional health and well being. Offers a network of mental health professionals working to ensure all American Muslims have access to high quality resources.
Khalil Center: Ninety percent of the Khalil Center’s 2,000+ annual patients come to the organization for spiritually integrated psychotherapy. While clinicians predominantly focus on contemporary issues facing American Muslims, services are not exclusive to any specific community. (Bay Area, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York and Toronto)
Relief: A non-profit organization geared specifically toward members of the Jewish community who are dealing with mental health issues.
SEEMA: This group, co-founded by three Pakistani-American sisters and named in honor of their mother, offers “support groups, educational workshops, social activities, and access to professionals, to eradicate mental health stigma within the Muslim community.”
Sikh Your Mind: A UK-based organization made up of clinical psychologists, social workers, therapists and other experts working to address mental health issues affecting the Punjabi Sikh community.
Erasing stigma in your congregation and community
General tips from MentalHealth.gov to get you thinking.
Read about how churches are addressing mental health needs in the black community. (NYU Steinhardt)
NAMI FaithNet: An interfaith resource network of National Alliance on Mental Illness members, friends, clergy and congregations of all faith traditions who are welcoming and supportive of persons and families living with mental illness.
Also from NAMI: A list of activities, prayers and invocations created in collaboration with faith communities and secular organizations to dispel myths and stigma about mental illness.
Faith leaders, this American Psychiatric Association guide can help you learn about being more inclusive; understanding how and when to make a referral to a professional; dealing with resistance to treatment; distinguishing spiritual/religious problems from mental illness and understanding how best to approach someone with an urgent mental health concern.
Learn how to deliver effective behavioral health and community-based social services with these training and technical assistance programs from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
For faith leaders interested in mental health ministry: Learn about Pathways to Promise, an interfaith co-op providing training, consultation and other resources for faith groups.
For clinicians
Developing Cultural Competence in Clinical Practice (sorry, paywall!) by Julie Benbenishty, Hadassah Medical Center
Faith, Spirituality, and Medicine: Toward the Making of a Healing Practitioner by Dana E. King, MD (New York, Haworth Press)
General tips on addressing spirituality and religion through patient care, including the HOPE questionnaire used in some medical institutions today (Hopkins Medicine)
Health care providers’ handbook on Hindu patients (Australia-based government resource; useful for all)
Practical tips for working with Muslim mental health clients (Institute for Muslim Mental Health)
Working with Latino/as in counseling: This article very generally addresses the role of faith in Latinx communities. (Counseling Today)
And in general, for all: Consider getting trained in mental health first aid.
Do you know of a specific faith- or group-based organization/program I can recommend? Please, please share.
Let’s talk about sex (and other things)
Here are some topics we’re excited to cover in the coming months. Reply to this email or send a message to 4nbodies@gmail.com if you want to share your relevant experiences for a future issue!
BODY HAIR x MENTAL HEALTH: If you, like me, have been body-hair-shamed on the playground, the bedroom or in your own home, LET’S COMMISERATE. This one will take a look at relationships with body hair/image/Western beauty ideals and self-esteem.
CHASING A CREATIVE CAREER/NOT BECOMING A DOCTOR lol: Are you an immigrant/child of immigrants with a penchant for the arts as a career? Has the revelation torn your family apart, affected your mental health? Whether or not you’re established in the creative field or still dreaming of getting your foot in, would love to chat. This goes for careers in writing, film, music, painting or whatever else you consider art.
SEXUAL HEALTH (MASTURBATION FOCUS) x STIGMA: Are you someone who grew up ashamed of masturbating? How did you first learn about it/try it? Let’s talk about the historical/religious/patriarchal/cultural taboos of loving on ourselves.
In “Are You Looking to Buddhism When You Should Be Looking to Therapy?” C.W. Huntington, Jr. writes about the conflation between Buddhist practice and psychotherapy. “It’s essential that we appreciate the critical difference between how mindfulness is used in the context of modern psychotherapy and how this same meditative technique has traditionally functioned as an indispensable element of the Buddhist path to enlightenment (nibbana).” Read here.
This painfully gorgeous essay from Shaheen Pasha for Narratively is a must-read. God “wouldn’t have brought me into the world just as Daddy’s mental illness began to spiral out of control, when he was still a young man, not even 40 yet. God wouldn’t have done all of that if he didn’t plan on making it better. We just had to wait. And hope. And pray.” Read here.
“Psychiatry and communities of faith don’t have to be mutually exclusive.” In this Psychology Today editorial brainstorm, Laura Lee Huttenbach speaks to Muslim Americans fighting mental health stigma. Read here.
For Patheos, Ambaa Choate, a Hindu living with clinical depression, wrote about attending her Sri Shiva Vishnu Temple’s mental health panel. Read here.
“While Jews were instrumental in establishing the field of psychology, the Jewish community is not always comfortable dealing with those who suffer from psychiatric conditions.” A wonderful My Jewish Learning newsletter post on Judaism and mental illness. Read here.
Ahem, hello. It’s Fiza. Enjoying your read? Tolerating it, at least?
I have a few updates to share, which I detailed here, too.
First of all, welcome to Substack! I’m slooowly transitioning out of the old CMS, primarily because I prefer the interface and public- and free- subscriber options.
On that note:
I wanted to let everyone know that Foreign Bodies will remain free for subscribers through December 31, 2019, thanks in large part to a yearlong fellowship grant from The Carter Center. But to realistically sustain a thoughtful, quality product for readers from then on, I’ll need some help covering research, writing and domain costs.
So in 2020, I’ll be switching things up a bit to ensure the newsletter can live on within my humble freelance writer’s budget, which means I’ll be asking for a small monthly fee ($1 to $3) from subscribers for access to our monthly letters—plus some fun giveaways! Keep an eye out for the first subscriber giveaway on Friday, Nov. 1.
All that being said, this newsletter was created to help fellow immigrants navigate their mental illness and feel a little less alone in this big bad world. So if you're a student, or if you find the cost in any way prohibitive, email 4nbodies@gmail.com and we’ll figure something out.
Questions/comments/concerns/dog pics? Please share. In the meantime, tell your friends and family about us. Let ‘em know why we’re worth keeping around.
Love,
Fiza, Lady (+ Scamper, not pictured)
p.s. Happy Halloween! /^(o.o)^\
That’s supposed to be a bat.
Foreign Bodies is a monthly e-mail newsletter dedicated to the unique experiences of immigrants and refugees as they relate to coping with mental illness and wellness. It’s written and curated by Atlanta-based writer Fiza Pirani with copyediting and fact-checking help from New Jersey-based independent journalist Hanaa’ Tameez. Want to contribute your time or share your own #ForeignBodies story? Send an email to 4nbodies@gmail.com or say hi on Twitter @4nbodies. Special shout-out to Carter Fellow and friend Rory Linnane for the adorable animated logo!
If you're thinking about suicide or worried about someone who might be, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text 741741 to connect to a crisis counselor. You can also find a wealth of culture- or language-specific recommended resources on our site, foreignbodies.net.
