17 Comments
Oct 22, 2020Liked by Fiza Pirani

This just reminded me to get a good cry in this week.

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Oct 22, 2020Liked by Fiza Pirani

my ajumma passed last month and I don't think I processed it at all until a recent zoom call with my cousins in seoul on sunday. After hanging up the call, I cried myself into a nap and woke up feeling so much lighter.

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I just cried out of nowhere last week because I really missed my nieces and nephews! Some of them live only half an hour away, but I am minimising social interactions as much as possible because my elderly mother lives with me and I want to keep her safe. But also that was like a compounded feelings and fears of — how long is this (whatever this is) is going to be? What about our jobs? How long can I keep my loved ones safe while keeping my sanity intact? When was the last time I have met friends physically? etc.

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Last week, I cried in the car, and then again waiting for a Rx at Walgreens, and then again at Sephora. I had gotten one of those “let’s just be friends” texts from a romantic interest who I suppose I had fallen hard for quickly and it just hit me in such a way at that moment. Made me realize it had been a while since I had cried and it felt good. I don’t know why but I find it somewhat comfortable to cry (particularly now under the mask) in public. People seem never to comment or stare in the few instances it’s happened and there’s some universal understanding there.

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I gave birth last week and have been crying up a storm! Sleeplessness and hormones will do that to you. The nice thing about these cries is that they’re expected, so I don’t question them. Instead of asking, “what’s wrong with me?” I let the tears flow and emotions pass. It feels so much healthier. I wish I’d approached more situations this way.

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Oct 22, 2020Liked by Fiza Pirani

Crying spells are frequent with me, especially this year. Can't seem to help it, either. I've never been someone to wear her emotions on her sleeve, but here I am, a raw nerve that can go off an emotional bender at any moment.

I cry quietly while watching TV, on my long walks in the neighborhood, in my therapy sessions, in bed at night. Sometimes it's cathartic. Sometimes it's exhausting. But I'm trusting that this is just the natural response my body is having at the moment. I think crying is my mind's stress reliever of choice. Ah, to be embarrassingly human.

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Oh man, it's usually really hard for me to cry, but the last two weeks I've been weeping at everything — the final episode of the Good Place really got me, the Oreo add with the dad who repaints his fence, every single book I've opened. It's felt like a really lovely breaking open and allowing something vulnerable out into the world. I'm not sure where it's coming from, but I kind of hope it sticks around.

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deletedOct 22, 2020Liked by Fiza Pirani
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